Turn Radical Self-Love Into a Habit

Making an action into a habit is simple — you do it every day until you do it without thinking, resisting, complaining. Here’s a nice podcast on the topic.


It took me a long time to make meditation a habit. For several years, I led 40 Days in January, a program that includes daily meditation. I meditated daily until about April, then something always got in the way, and meditation faded away. I stopped leading 40 days a couple of years ago, and I realized I had been reliant on it to jumpstart my meditation every year. Without the program, it was up to me to make meditation part of my routine. So I started doing it every morning first thing, 10 minutes at a time, and now it has become a given part of my day.


But what about making radical self-love a habit? Firstly, the phrase “radical self-love” brings up all my resistance. The phrase feels over-used. And, I was listening to a talk about radical self-love, and how to make it a habit. At first, I thought I do all the things to love myself. I take baths, I meditate, I do yoga regularly, I exercise, I generally eat well.


"I love myself!" I insisted, a little too much.


Whenever I resist something, I know there is something to investigate. I got honest. I don’t do self-love nearly as much as I could. I still criticize myself. I compare myself to others. I doubt my abilities as a coach, an entrepreneur, a mother. What could I do to notice and bring more love for myself into my life as a practice? I also realized it doesn't mean I have to walk around declaring how much I love myself. I can do small things every day to love on me.


My goal this week is to take on the following five ways to increase my self-love, going above and beyond what I normally do. Self-love doesn’t have to mean you take yourself to the spa, because that’s awesome, but it’s the holidays and we have to be real.


Here’s my list:


- Sleep more. I am putting myself to bed earlier this week and committing to 8 hours of sleep every night. I've done it one night so far, and it is GLORIOUS.

- Increase daily meditation from 10 to 15 minutes. I am giving myself to doing more work in the morning to listen to my intuition and do visualization.

- Cut off social media after 7 p.m. Social media brings out my worst internal critic. I already try not to look at it until after my morning routine is complete and I sit down to work at 9 a.m. I am now turning it off at night, too.

- Limit sugar and alcohol to parties only. Because I am human, and it is the holidays. And, I don’t need to eat sugar or have wine every night. It always makes me lethargic and less happy the next day.

- Recommit to my Olympic lifting training. I’ve been off my game for too many reasons to list. No more excuses. This week, I am back on for three full sessions of lifting.


I am excited to put this list into action. Your turn. What can you do this week to commit to self-love? Like a true act of self love? Make self-love a habit. Come up with 5 things that you can commit to this week to love yourself and share!



Copyright, All Rights Reserved, Nicole Tsong and Maple Path, 2019

Photos: Chris Danielle; Erika Schultz, Logo: Live Big Co.